Hi Doc,I am 35yr married women with one daughter of 3yr. I have a sex related problem to discuss with u. I have almost nil desire for sex. We had a lot of problems having intercourse after our marriage and for almost 2-3 yrs were not able to do intercourse.I was fearful of the pain and like I mentioned I did not enjoy it so did not make any effort to do it.Ours is a love marriage so my husband also adjusted , we then somehow were able to have intercourse and had a baby.Post that also we had sex very rarely though we were having oral sex but intercourse was very rare.I never took this seriously and my husband had also adjusted to this situation though he always had very strong desires but used to masturbate. Then I came to know few months back that my husband was having an extramarital affair with his office collegue for past 3yrs ,which started just before our daughter was born. I know the reason why he got distracted because of my own incompetency. we are still together but he is not able to forget her because she filled the gap which we had. now he wants to be with her, marry her but does not want to leave me and daughter as he still loves us.he is most of the time upset and not happy and has started drinking excessively. I still love him and he loves me too but he misses that girl because she had given him what I could not. He still has her in his thoughts and is having problem taking out those memories. I want to save my marriage and remove her thoughts from my husbands mind by creating good moments together. Now he does not seem to be interested in sex with me as he thinks he would be cheating on me by having sex with me and thoughts of her. I need your help in overcoming my incapability of having almost no desire for sex. and developing not only frequent desire for sex but also enjoying it with my husband.Basically the fine art. if you could refer books and for increasing the desire , some medicines you can suggest , I would be greatly thankful.