Hey Sean. At the outset your email address is exotic to say the least. Not so your ailment..pretty common. It appears you have what we commonly call hidradentitis suppuritiva in medical parlance. It most probably arose from ingrown hairs & secondary infection. It will require immediate & perhaps long standing intervention with an antibiotic & antiiflammatory agents & /or surgical drainage to rectify. It tends to be pesky & recurrent if neglected & sometimes may require stronger medication or more radical surgeries. Please visit your local dermatologist or surgeon on the ground nearest you for a complete picture. Good luck & wish you well! Cheers!