My husband has recently told me he is confused about his sexuality. He was sexually abused by a man up until he was 11, and has no idea how young he was when it started. His mother was never around or ignored him when she was and his father was out driving a truck, also never home. He was left alone and a neighboring pedofile showed him kindness and comfort (as he began to identify it) during those years. Until one day when he brought another friend over to play and that friend witnessed the abuse and told them him he was a fag and queer . He went to school to discover that the story was everywhere (middleschool) and everyone called him horrible names. He said he didnt even know it was wrong or socially unacceptable until then. Since that time, he is now 38 and has had curiosities about being with men, found himself looking at men and on 1 occasion had an encounter with a man (brief and involved basic touching). This encounter was after I revealed an affair I had. He had become distant from me and I felt alone I have always regretted my infidelity and told him then that I didnt want to leave, I did (and do) love him very much. He was crushed because his mother had numerous affairs on his father and was basically out with men while he was being abused. He had become more distant, angry and depressed over the past few years and I finally told him i cannot live this way anymore but I loved him and wanted to know what is going on with him. Thus the reason he decided to confide in me about his feelings. He loves me, this is not questionable. He is attracted to and physically interested in me and actually has made love to me since his disclosure. We feel closer than ever emotionally because he knows that I love him and don t plan to desert him if he does figure out he is gay. I have told him that I love him for who he is and we have 2 great kids, he is a wonderful father and though we would definately divorce if he is gay I will not abandon him, nor he, I. (counselling services are about to begin for him) My question is this: Does this mean he is gay? Is it possible to have these feelings and urges and still be heterosexual? He has told me that he has never in the 20 years we ve been together looked at woman other than me, he is not sexually interested in other women either but has had these thoughts about men. He seems to want to label himself too, stating that his entire life ppl have commented that he must be gay because he is so well kept, doesnt like sports, etc. I just want to know if its possible that he may not be gay and that the feelings are due to his abuse and never having dealt with it.