Hi, From what you have mentioned, you seem to be having symptoms suggestive of anxiety and depression. It is leading to your negative thinking regarding life as well the anxiety symptoms in form of fast heart beats. You should seek a psychiatric consultation for initiating treatment. Treatment with medications like escitalopram or sertraline would be beneficial. In addition start exercising daily. That will help you relax. Relaxation techniques like deep breathing and meditation would be further beneficial. Discuss your issues with someone close or start writing a diary daily. It will help you de-burden yourself and feel better. Hope that I was able to answer your query. Best wishes.