Hello Thanks for asking You are taking Adderall 20 mg since last 8 years and you are suffering from Charcot Marie Tooth Disease which has caused significant damage to your health. You have started abusing adderall and tried to stop the use but felt very bad. You are also having serious depression. I would advise you to consult a Psychiatrist for depression. Treatment of depression will increase your activity level and self confidence. Medicines like Modafnil can be used to increase alertness in place of Adderall which is highly abusive drug. Modafinil will increase alertness apart from conventional anti-depressants. To quit adderall you have to take help of your psychiatrist. The doses should be decreased gradually 25% every week and drug use should be stopped completely over 6-8 weeks. This method will prevent withdrawal symptoms. Consult your psychiatrist for treatment. Thanks, hope this helps you.