Hello Welcome to HCM It appears that you have symptoms like anger outbursts, violent behaviour, extreme sensitivity to rejection and insult, revengeful attitude etc. Even on minor insult you want to take revenge or cry excessively. You want to kill yourself. Most probably your complaints are due to some personality problem. Other possibility is Impulse control disorder. Severe anger spells are seen in both disorders. Antisocial personality, Narcissistic personality etc disorders may present with revengeful attitude. Consult a good psychiatrist for treatment, don t feel bad about yourself. Mood stabilisers like Sodium Valproate, Carbamazepine etc drugs can be used to control anger outbursts and to stabilise the mood of patients. Try anger management sessions from some good psychologist to decrease anger. Thanks, hope this helps you