If this is a real Dr. Or someone who is qualified to help or give me some helpful advice then I am so very grateful. I do need some help with my currant situation. I am a 38 year old female. I have been battling with a few psychological disorders my whole life it seems. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 6 yrs old. I had a abusive childhood also. Since I have been am adult I have been diagnosed with adult ADHA, depression and anxiety disorder. I am currently taking Adderall 20mg, Celexa full dose, Klonopin 1mg 3 x daily or as needed. I take it as needed but every now and then the anxiety gets so bad that I need my full dose. I am also still talking 1/4 of a Suboxon strip once daily. Now for my symptoms. 1) I am dating and living with a man who one minute will be so sweet but is also controlling, verbally and psychologically abusive. He has very low esteem and rarely let s me leave the house or do anything even if it s in the house unless he is involved. My boyfriend is 15 yrs older then I am and has a life threatening heart condition. I use both of these as an excuse for his insecure behavior. His constant verbal abuse has done a lot of damage on my self-esteem, anxiety and any self confidence I had 2)I am very depressed every day. I ve always had depression but it was easily managed with medication. 3) I rarely want to clean my house or even take a shower. Which two years ago I was the exact opposite. I have always been a little messy but I never ignored my hygiene the way I do now. 4) I no longer feel like myself. I feel like someone I never in my worst nightmare could have dreamed of turning into. This started a little over five years ago I moved to FL from RI. Ever since then other then graduating from collage my life has turned into the twilight zone. Almost as soon as i get here my back started hurting so i took one of my moms pain meds.next thing I know I m addicted to them. Everything gets worse from there I lost my job, my car, my licence and my freedom. I m finding myself in situations that before I could never see myself in. I feel like I lost the real me and now I m stuck living someone s else s life. Just last night out of no where I started to have a panic attack. Then for a brief moment I felt like my old self. It felt grate but then I took a look around me and really started to panic. I couldn t believe the condition my home was in. It was like someone turned a light on and I found myself in a life that never in a million years would I have allowed myself to be living. I remember thinking I m living in a beat up trailer with a man who is not only 15 years older then me but is no where close to my type what so ever. He is destroying my life and practically holding me hostage in an old trailer that is falling apart (which 4 years ago I would never had seen myself living in). I felt like a totally different person... I felt like myself and I started to cry because I knew it wouldn t last. 5) I am constantly fatuged. 6) I have no ambition what so ever. I can t even find the ambition to do the things I need to make my life better. 7) I don t want to do anything and I rarely want to go anywhere. My anxiety governs every time I even think about all I have to do around my home (cleaning, doing laundry, waking up early) 8) I found myself wanting to be alone most of my day. I stay outside on my porch away from everyone until late at night then I sleep all day. 9) I also find myself being so angry over all of this that I yell... A LOT. QUESTIONS: 1)Am I having a identify crisis? 2)Do I have a psychological condition that I do not know of? 3) Why do I feel like I m living in someone else s life? Why does it feel like everything including the people in my life has all of the sudden become the exact opposite of how they have been my whole life. My life totally feels like the twilight zone and I feel like I m lost in the dark.