Hello. My name is Stephen and I am a 34 year old man with a dual diagnosis of both substance abuse as well as mental health problems. Since around the age of 18 or so I have seen more then my share of doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, etc... Over the course of the last 16 years or so I have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, manic depression, bi-polar disorder, and Adult ADHD (to name a few). Also, during this same period of time I have experimented and/or over indulged myself in every illicit street drug you can imagine. Not to mention, I have also done way more then my share of drinking as well. One of the things that I would like to stress to you, or to whom it may concern, is that I have always felt my substance abuse was a reaction to my mental illness, and not the other way around. In my experience most "professionals" tend to label you as a drug addict before doing there due diligence in order to find the underlying causes of my issues. Anyway, as far as my family history and childhood development are concerned it's not a pretty picture. I could provide you with a ton of detailed information about my upbringing but I will try to just emphasize the more pertinent events that occurred throughout my adolescence and give you a brief history of my family members and there various ailments and disorders. When I was five my parents got a divorce. As far as I was concerned this was the beginning of the end for me psychology despite my parents inevitably remaining good friends due to the fact that they grew up together and had three kids together. I admit that it is always commendable when divorced parents manage to get a long after the fact if only for the sake of the children, but being that I was a very sensitive five year old boy and the middle child with two sisters the divorce was still a recipe for disaster to me. In an effort to not make this into a novel let's just say that I started getting in trouble in school, at home, and other places regularly which of course just escalated as I grew older and angrier. By the age of 11 I was drinking, smoking, steeling, lying, cheating,etc... By the time I was 16 I had used, abused and sold everything from weed to coke, crack, extacy, ketamine, and PCP just to name a few. Since then I have smoked tons of crack and meth, on and off, spent some time in jails and rehabs, and a year ago it all came to a head when my fiancée of seven years took our two year old son and left for Ohio not to be seen again, at least not by me, for over a year. Since then I have spent time in jail and then I voluntary went into a long term treatment program to get help so I could get my family back; not to mention my sanity. This work wonders! During that time I formed a strong relationship with God and watched as he led me down a road of serenity and contentment that I never knew existed. Upon leaving this program I stay sober for about nine months or so, aside from the occasional cocktail, and then just as things were starting to really come together for me in all aspects of my life I relapsed, again. Now I am currently being treated for adhd and anxiety (vyvanse and clonazepam) and I self medicate quite frequently with alcohol and hard drugs on occasion. All I want is to stop feeling like a guinea pig when it comes to being diagnosed and subsequently misdiagnosed so that for the first time in over half of my life I might be able to put more then a month or two together with out having to anticipate the impending doom that I know is coming! It's very scary and very frustrating. My mother has Fibramyalgia, anxiety, depression, etc... My step dad is a functional alcoholic and always has been. My older sister has myiostiniografis and a heroin addiction. My younger sister deals with depression, alcoholism, Fibramyalgia, chronic fatigue, etc... My biological father died from a drug induced heart attack when I was 18 and I'm probably leaving some stuff out because there is just to much to mention. I suffer from a severe mental illness or a multitude of illnesses and I want to know what the heck is wrong with me so that I can be treated, and medicated appropriately for once in my life. The meds I take now help a little but they are hard not to abuse and I know they are not the right meds for me. So what do you think? I should've known. It's always all about the money. Go FUCK YOURSELF AND ROT IN HELL!!