Dear Welcome to HCM We understand your concerns I went through your details. I suggest you not to worry much. Motivation is the result of needs. Only if you have need you will be motivated. You are motivated to eat because there is a need. You will be motivated to request somebody for help if you need help. The whole of human life revolves around this need and motivation circle. Therefore, to have a solution for your current position, you should have a strong need. For everyone, for ages, goal is acting as need and goal directed behavior as response. Set an aim and promise and thrive to achieve it. You should practice psychotherapy techniques to streamline your life style and meditation and yoga techniques to calm your mind, body, streamline your metabolism and thinking style. Please consult a psychologist. If you still need my help, please describe the whole problem in detail and post a direct question to me. I shall definitely help you with psychotherapy techniques to over come your problems. Hope this answers your query. Available for further clarifications. Good luck.