This problem has been bothering me for a number of months now and has got progressively worse over those months. I am a 15 year old boy who in July this summer began masturbating and first found it great - and I now its natural and enjoyable which it is. I must have done so for a month with no troubles at all.
However soon I began thinking this is a tad dirty so I began wiping room every time did it, just to clean up a bit, using only damp cloth. I did this for a while, and was masturbating once day so it was a tad tiring to clan but I didn't care. Soon It began to annoy me slightly more with this thought of things being dirty from masturbation. I masturbated at my desk where my computer is as I usually watched a video while I did it.
Soon this began to get even more worse, I associated objects with my masturbation such as watches, and books in my room labeling them in my head as dirty when they were either just out on the surfaces of my room when I masturbated or I touched them after i had masturbated even when I had washed my hands throughly. I also began to clean my room entirely with anti-bacteria wipes to make sure it was clean. I continued to masturbate a lot meaning this process took a long time and I got through a packet of wipes very quickly. Soon I decided to stop masturbating as I went back to school however did it once a week for the first weeks i was back however now I have only masturbated once in the past 6 weeks or so.
My problem is i still label things as dirty with masturbation and things in contact with my 'c.u.m'. I can't wear certain watches, use my consoles, go in certain draws. When I need to I use tissue paper to hold handles or wear gloves or even socks to cover my hands when I touch certain things like draw knobs or door handles or remote controls. This is really annoying and mad as when I do touch these things I feel my hands are dirt or been infected and washing doesn't help for some reasons as mentally they are still dirty - my hands that is.
My parents know something is wrong. They complain at me for not touching things and thinking they are dirty, especially my mum who thinks the house is clean and I don't. It is clean but I think even after things are cleaned they are still dirty in my head. She has confiscated my socks and gives them to me when I need them. I am also not allowed to se the any wipes. Due to no masturbation I have many wet drams which due to the *** makes me feel dirty all day, even at school. They do not know I think things are dirty due to masturbation.
I really want to masturbate agin, yet also want my old life back. What is wrong with me mentally? How can I masturbate and still feel clean? Have I got a disorder and what do I do. I really need help, any? And don't say masturbate in the shower as that, along with my bed is the only place I feel truly clean!