My Mom Act Awlful to me !!! ;(((
My Mom iss soo ... i dont know how to describe it !!! I just dont know what to do !!! She is playing an online game like farms and etc . She has no time for me ! She has no job and she isnt doing anything !!! She is just playing , but she wants me to clean , to bring stuffs to her , to go shopping for food and etc ... And when i say NO ! She becomes super nervous and she starts yelling at me and her mood is always changing ! Every time when something that she wants not happen .. s
he becomes soo nervouss ...... !!!!!! And for whatever is she nervous for she gives it to me !!! She blames me !! Always when she is not in a mood , no one can be !!! She is always trying to ruin it !!! And she stopped smoking really hard and now she is smoking again and i want to stop her but every time when i say something to her she yells at me " im gonna broke your head" "im gonna hit you and you gonna shut for forever " "i hate you " and etc .. and its always in front of othet people !!" And im always keep my self not to cry in front of her and other people and then when im alone im crying and remember everything again and again every second word that she said !!! So it hurts me so much !!! And after yelling this just after 5 minutes , she acts like nothing happened !! But it happened !! And i remember it !!! Everytime when smth like this happens i remember everything years back !!! I feel like that broke my childhood so much !!!! :xxx And every time i feel so broken that i even wanna die !!! Memories from my childhood are so much like when she cut my hair , because she didnt know where i was !! She knew that i love my hair more than anything and it was so long !!! I beggin her so.much not to do it i fall of my knees anything then finally i seat on the chair and she got all my hair and i was so scare i thought that she just gonna cut a little !! But she cut all of it !!" She made me like a boy !!! i couldnt breath i fall on the ground and i started yelling , screaming , pulling ! I do it for hours !!! When anyone got closer to me i started pushing him off and i cried so much that i get sick !! Days after that i still seizured !!! My Mom was so sorry that she did it ! She was sorry a minute after that !!! She said im sorry im so sorry a million times ! She bought me stiffs and others so i forgave her , but this is a memory that i wont forget!!! When i was little 7-8 years old we left to the park and i was exsited that i was gonna skateboarding but my skateboard was at a bag so i had to get it off and she told me to wait but i couldnt so i got it and after minutes she saw that her coffe is on a magazine that she borrowed just to read it but she had to give it back ! So i said im sorry but she was so angry and she kicked me ! I saw that the women , who works in the next shop saw it and i was so ashamed i didnt want her to be my mother and i trhough my skateboard and run to the WC and i started crying ! She did a lot of things like that and i always tried to be strong i still am !! Once i was at her shop and she told me to do something cuz she has works , but i didnt know how to do it !!! So she tought that im lieing just not to do it or to make her angry on purpose !! She became really angry and she started hitting me with the broom and people saw her and told her to stop and she told them YOU WONT TELL ME HOW TO LOOK AFTER MY CHILD !!! I was so hurt inside !!! And she hit me with such anger !!! i amso ashamed when she yelling me or smthin in front people and specially in front of my friends "!! I want her to love me to hug me to be like other moms normal lovely !!! What to do and please dont say to me " Talk to her and explain her how do you feel " i have already tried that ! She doesnt understand !!!! Give me othet disicion pleasee !!!