Hi! I was addicted to meth for about a year and only started shooting up toward the last month or so. After a few times of that I quit cold turkey and was completely clean for over 5 years. Just recently I used again and do every once in a while. I do not consider myself and addict again because I am 100% in control of the drug rather than letting it have control over me. My question is, i have been shooting up as my way of doing the meth. I have very little veins and always have from as young as I can remember. Years ago while being an addict and started shooting up the person who always injected me found the one and only vein that could be hit. It is also the one I tell doctors or nurses to use if ever having to give blood. It's invisible but you can definitely feel it. Anyways, now that my husband and I have been using meth this past few days I make him hit me in the same vein every time and sometimes in the exact same spot/hole as last time so I know he won't miss. Stupid, I know. But earlier today I could tell it was starting to scar because while trying to insert the needle it was very hard to push in and when it did I could definitely feel a difference. So a few hours ago I finally told him I had to give that vein a rest before I ended up really huritng myself and told him he could try a vein somewhere else. Mind you, I'm terrified because like I mentioned earlier I have horrible veins and everytime I've had to get IV at the hospital I'm literally stuck 5 or 6 times because they either can't hit the vein or as soon as they do it blows or quits getting blood flow. So we found a vein on my right arm that was toward the side or (in the crook of my elbow but not in the middle but toward the inside). You could see the vein very well but could also tell that it looked small as in not very wide. As nervous as I was I let him try. When it first went in and he pulled back on the plunger no blood registered. Upset I asked him to pull it out and try again. While he was pulling it out he got visual of the vein again so he just turned the needle slightly and pushed it back in. It hit!! No pain at all and when pulling back the plunger it registered a good amount of blood. Right before he was going to inject the shot of meth I asked him to pull back slightly to make sure it was still there and sure enough still had great blood flow so I gave the go and he slowly started injecting the meth in my vein. It was only 20cc. I never felt a thing until right at the last little bit. Probably down to 8cc MAYBE and it started to burn slightly. I told him that it was starting to burn a bit but told him just to finish since there wasn't much left. Once he pulled the needle out there was a very small lump (maybe the size of a green pea, pretty small) and it's bruised. Well, that's kind of my question, can't tell if it's bruised because it doesn't look like it's on the outside. The vein in question is one that you can see very well in general (a surface vein I'm guessing) so the bluish/bruise looks more like the vein itself but looks wider or spread out in the one spot and then on either side of it is the normal thin vein. I am just wondering what this means. Why is there a tiny knot and why instead of bruising or turning red did my vein look like it expanded inside my arm in the injection site? Does this mean I have a blown vein, the needle came out and it's under the skin making it look that way, is my vein just expanded, etc....What is it??? And will I be able to use that vein again. I know what your going to say but in all honesty what would happen and would it or would it not work if I hit that vein again. Please help!! I know I shouldn't use and I need to quit. Like I said I'm not an addicted and often go several days even weeks wihtout using and no signs of withdrawl but at times I do decided to use for a fews days. Just recrational. I just want to make sure if I'm going to use and choose in inject it that I'm as safe as possible. Hope I explained well enough and that you are able to help me.

Hopeful,
Concerened User!