What Causes Anxiety And Gagging When In A Crowd?

i had came out of school and i was single. i have started working for a company and had devoted myself to them. Through out the first few months working for this company. I had began to noticed that i have a skin disorder called Vitiligo. This has impacted me as i had went into a depression for awhile. I was my own coach and although my father has it i knew it was genetic. Through the years i had seek help for vitiligo, but came to terms that there is nothing else that can be done but wear makeup. However the field i m in is stressful, and there are many demands on workers like myself. Nonetheless i had met someone outside of my work who has a child and since then we now have 2 other boys of which the older and youngest ones have disabilities. The other thing is my preevious employer, i m sure had feeliings for me and was jealous of my spouse. I felt harrassed many times as my employer was personally picking on me. This employer even made up a lie about my spouse which tried to get me into trouble about breaking confientiality. I had felt stressed to go to work. I had expressed my stress/anxiety by gagging before i arrived at work. About a year ago i had went to one of my sons, touraments, where there was lots of people and when he was presented a certificate, i was happy but i had expressed that by gagging 2 or 3 times. I had embarrassed him and my family and myself. That year, had expierence gagging fits @ my sons soccer games, i did not gag at all of them, i had tried to calm myself or even walk away. That did work sometimes. However the interesting thing is, when i had finished my gagging, (it could be 2 or 5 times) i felt relief or a sense normallity. Since then i work indirectly to my previous employer. I know there are some possible stressors. I am forty years old and I have thought about a possible career change. That alone is stressful in itself. But, now after being out of shape and overweight for about a year. I know my health is also taking a toll. I had went to see a naturalpath who prescribed me (ignatia amara 30 ch), i have yet taken them despite knowing the side effects may be horrible. I know this when i went online and it said that when the person feels horrible feeling the medication is working. However , my girlfriend is on medication and she at the beginning felt horrible and the withdrawwals were bad too. However she continues to be on them. Anyway, I still have anxiety, and i still gag. It seems like i get anxiety when there are lots of people around me, i feel a lump in my throat, it feels then that my shirt is too tight or coat. My gagging seems to be impulsive, i sometimes never know when it may happen. My girlfriend is embarrassed when i gag and gets upset with me and will walk away. Sometimes i don t mind because i might vomit. She did say that i need to get help as it is affectiing my home and possible work life. I have even thought about not being here. But, that is not an option, i have too much too loose, my family needs me and i am a role modle. I know that ending my life is no escapegoat and i have the ability to change my life. I have always been a very optimistic person and centered and believed in people. However, sometimes i don t care, and feel angry and alone. I am thinking about seeing my naturalpath again or even my doctor. Any info you can give me will be greatly appreciated. Sam