I don't even know how to start, first things first i am a 21 year old female an i'm now terrified to go to the toilet because when i go it feels like my is been ripped to shreds when i do it bleeds and its so painful. the second thing is since my pregnancy with my daughter who is now 1 occurred my relationship with my partner is sinking because i always think he is against me i think he is cheating on me all the time i cause arguments with him for no reason i hate him touching me and i hate sex before my pregnancy i used to be happy now i feel down and stressed out i feel like someone has got there hands on both sides of my head and squeezing as hard as they can i don't know how to deal with it anymore i lye awake at night feeling guilty for different members of my family for no reason i keep myself up with thoughts i don't even know my concentration has like a 2 second spam i feel like everyone is against me an i just don't know why sometimes when me and my partner have arguments i lock myself in the bathroom because i imagine him coming at me with a knife even though i know he couldn't harm me i just scared of everything dogs the dark (i always think there is someone watching me) been in a car with my partner its ruining my life i don't know what to do anymore i wont go to a doctor because i think they will judge me i feel so sorry for my daughter in all this because im just to tired to do anything an its just not fair on her. I just need help but i don't know where to start i cant go to the doctor because he would think im attention seeking.