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Dr. Andrew Rynne
MD
Dr. Andrew Rynne

Family Physician

Exp 50 years

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What Causes Suspicion Of Partner Cheating?

Why am I always so paranoid that my boyfriend is cheating on me, or texting other girls. I also worry that he is doing stuff behind my back that would make me feel insecure?. He says that he loves me and would never hurt me and that I upset him when I feel like this, but sometimes I just get a bad feeling in the pit of my tummy and I can t shift it. It eats me up inside. I try to ignore the things that happen, but I am so insecure. I don t want to drive him away.
Wed, 27 Aug 2014
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General & Family Physician,  's  Response
Hello, thank you for posting your query to HCM.

You're right, unnecessary insecurity would definitely drive any one away. So you definitely need to work on this issue. Even if your partner truly loves you and cares for you, this insecurity of yours would gradually pull him away from you. You need to find the reason for this lack of trust within you. Have you been cheated on, in the past? Is your parents' marriage healthy or have you seen similar incidences in their relationship?
If any such thing has happened in the past with you, then you need to understand that not every man is the same. And not every relationship is the same either. You need to work hard & consciously make efforts to overcome these feelings of insecurity. Otherwise a totally loyal partner can also get irritated and in turn start doing things that he/she would otherwise not.

Discuss your issues openly with your partner and ask him to help you overcome it in whichever way possible. Tell him that you completely trust him and also make him believe that by your actions. Dont keep on unnecessarily questioning him on his whereabouts or nag him.

If the problem is severe, you can also talk to a counsellor.

Hope this was helpful.
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What Causes Suspicion Of Partner Cheating?

Hello, thank you for posting your query to HCM. You re right, unnecessary insecurity would definitely drive any one away. So you definitely need to work on this issue. Even if your partner truly loves you and cares for you, this insecurity of yours would gradually pull him away from you. You need to find the reason for this lack of trust within you. Have you been cheated on, in the past? Is your parents marriage healthy or have you seen similar incidences in their relationship? If any such thing has happened in the past with you, then you need to understand that not every man is the same. And not every relationship is the same either. You need to work hard & consciously make efforts to overcome these feelings of insecurity. Otherwise a totally loyal partner can also get irritated and in turn start doing things that he/she would otherwise not. Discuss your issues openly with your partner and ask him to help you overcome it in whichever way possible. Tell him that you completely trust him and also make him believe that by your actions. Dont keep on unnecessarily questioning him on his whereabouts or nag him. If the problem is severe, you can also talk to a counsellor. Hope this was helpful.