Hello, This is sign and symptom of OCD ( obsessive compulsie disorder). The good thing is that you still have some insight into your illness and can see that what you are doing is ill logical and not sensible but cannot control it at the same time. The disorder is a cluster of several symptoms & one should be throughly interviewed before proceeding for treatment. Drugs ( clomipramine or vanalafaxine, etc.) and therapy ( ERP) are the mainstay of treatmemt. Please do see a psychiatrist in person, start the medicine and enter into regular therapy to cure this illness. Hope the reply is useful Dr. Manisha Gopal MD psychiatry