Dear Welcome to HCM We understand your concerns I went through your details. I suggest you not to worry much. From the sound and feel of your problems, diagnosis is surely tricky. You look like you have borderline personality disorder (in a sense). But the diagnosis from your description here may not be correct, because you tend to tell all your problems. But you do have positives. Please consult a clinical psychologist / psychotherapist for proper assessment and diagnosis. If you require more of my help in this aspect, Please post a direct question to me in this website. Make sure that you include every minute details possible. I shall prescribe the needed psychotherapy techniques which should help you cure your condition further. Hope this answers your query. Available for further clarifications. Good luck.