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What Makes The Person Emotionally Abuse The Other Person?
verbal and emotional abuse in relationship with my boyfriend( we are suppose to get married as soon as he gets a job). he knows he has a problem but he wont go to therapy and he is not trying hard enough to change.he is always promising things but never follows them. i am worried if i get married to him it might get worse. he wants total control over me and i should not say anything or raise my voice only he can do that he says.i have tried to support him make him understand millions of time to stop saying bad things to me ,to change (almost daily nowdays).he is getting worse i think cause i dont let him control me or show much care for him as i used to.he says he respects me but his words when he is angry say otherwise.i have tried to break up with him once. i dont know what to do now.
Tue, 15 Apr 2014
Hi,
There seems to be two important issues to be sorted out here:
1. The issue of control- Relationship need not be built around one's need for control or need for power. It could jeopardize the relationship and take away all the affection you both have towards each other. A relationship counsellor must be able to help you both in these issues.
2. The issue of assertiveness and boundary - Though we can't be assertive all the time in close relationships, it is important to see where your personal boundaries are repeatedly transgressed. My hunch is that it would help you if you learn to be a little more assertive in stating what is it that you want from him.
Regards!
Abdul
There seems to be two important issues to be sorted out here:
1. The issue of control- Relationship need not be built around one's need for control or need for power. It could jeopardize the relationship and take away all the affection you both have towards each other. A relationship counsellor must be able to help you both in these issues.
2. The issue of assertiveness and boundary - Though we can't be assertive all the time in close relationships, it is important to see where your personal boundaries are repeatedly transgressed. My hunch is that it would help you if you learn to be a little more assertive in stating what is it that you want from him.
Regards!
Abdul
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