Hello and welcome, The first step to stop this is understanding your condition and seeking help. The next step is working on your will power. Women have a very complicated cycle and more often than not face a bout of low self esteem. Once women reach their middle age, they feel less attractive, and are not comfortable with displaying their bodies. This is seen more often in women who have mothered children and find it difficult to return to their pre-pregnancy state. Every individual has his/her needs, and when those needs are not met, we tend look out of the box. Instead of looking elsewhere to attain sexual satisfaction, you need to work on making your wife feel better about herself. Talk to her more often, and although this might take time, tell her how beautiful and sexually attractive you think she is. Try getting her into her comfort zone, be romantic with her, sit her down and ask her why she puts you down so often. I am sure she has her needs and urges as well, which is what both of you share. If she needs help in losing any extra weight she feels she has put on, encourage her, enroll her in a gym, and help with the kids while she is out. Spoil her by sending her to spas, once home offer a massage. Don t make a move too early as these things take time. While you are outside with her, compliment her, tell her how you find her much more beautiful than the other women you see. Tell her you are lucky to have her and don t deserve her, and so on. I am sure she is a beautiful woman and just needs some encouragement and love. I only advice you to take things slowly. Looking elsewhere might even get you what you want, but it will not be worth it. Work on your wife, and I am sure you shall be successful. You can even consult a sexologist or a psycho-therapist and have group sessions with your wife. Involving a third person, who is experienced might help in reaching the solution, and earlier. Hope this helps you. You can always write back to us for more help. Wishing you and your wife a happy married life.