Brief Answer:
Please provide more details.

Detailed Answer:
Dear
Welcome to HCM
We understand your concerns

I went through your details. I suggest you not to worry much. The query itself shows how frustrated you are. I can see the frustration you are in and am really sorry about it. I wish I could help you. But as the query was in a frustrated mood, it just shows your emotional state and do not reveal more. To give you an answer, I need to know more about you and your husband. I request you to provide every possible details like For how many years you are married? Children? Occupation of you and your husband? Where do you live? Which religion or faith you follow? Love or arranged marriage? Any extra marital affairs? etc etc. Please include as many details as possible.

Anger is normally due to irritation and frustration which we feel towards common happenings of day to day living. Some of those incidents we don't care and some do play havoc with us. Those incidents which we ignore are due to our wise approach. We get irritated mostly because we are not mature or we have ego.

I am not leading you anywhere. I don't think you are depressed now. You are disappointed due to the happenings in your life. You feel cheated, distressed, disappointed and feel helpless.

I am ready to help you in any manner I can. Please give me all those details about you and your husband.

God bless you.
Dr. K V Anand PhD

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Brief Answer:
Love, affection and passionate sex make family

Detailed Answer:
Dear
Thanks for the follow up question

I went through the details. I sincerely opine that your current trouble is due to disappointment due to your life happenings. Definitely not clinical depression. Never even think in that fashion because such a thinking alone can make you lazy and helpless.

Frustrations do happen in life. With everyone. But I see that yours is much more than normal. I can see that, feel that and sense that. I sincerely pray god to be at your help.

You are married for 12 years. That is enough time to adjust between you and your husband. Marriage means two distinct personalities compelled to share everything they put hands on. In that sharing of ones mind and body is of paramount importance. Sharing mind is love and affection towards partner. Sharing body is having sex. Sex is an important part of successful married life second to love and affection. Any family triffles do get settled at the bed. But if you cannot perform sex passionately, even a small family problem can grow gigantically.

Your husband do not want divorce because he is caring for the children. I do blame him for his attitude towards you. But he do care. He is working and you are his home maker. You are doing everything to make your home. But he is not caring and have an extra marital affair. Are you sure about that? He cannot produce any proof if he do not have affair. Be careful in allegations. He can also doubt you have extra maritl affair. It is that easy for allegations. Such allegations should not ruin our life.

Never allow paranoid personality problem creep into your life. Seeing everyone and their activities with a doubtful eye, especially family members, is called pranoid personality disorder. Out of paranoid problem you starting to doubt your husband and your children. Never do that. Then you may need psychiatric medicinal treatment. Please be impartial.

Anger is normal and what you have to do is vent it out and never keep that emotion within you. You need a good future life along with your husband and children. You have to take care of yourself and them. As a lady, you have the capacity. Every lady do the same. They keep their family under their chest, closed and controlled. You can only control your husband and children, with pure love and affection. Why should your husband go to another woman if you give him what ever he wants. Passionate sex, love and affection, good food etc. If you can do this, he will be behind you throughout.

About children, they are chldren. They act as if you behave to them. Their behavior is directly influenced by your behvior. You get angry, they hate you momantrily and come back to you when you show love and affection. Then why anger? Show only love and affection. You can scold them or punish them, but only out of love and affection, not out of anger and frustration.

Do have sex regularly, Passionately.

Hope you are happy with the above answer.
Available for further clarifications.
God bless you.

Dr. K V Anand PhD

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