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Suggest Treatment For Intrusive Thoughts Related To Being Homosexual And Anxiety

Posted on Wed, 2 Nov 2016

Question: Hello! I am a 38 years old man and I have unwanted homosexual fantasies about my close male friends from which I experience unwanted erections. I don't see them in sexual way in reality, I don't feel attraction towards them, I don't have feelings about them and I don't want to act on these fantasies in reality. Now I am in deep depression and I experience severe guilt and anxiety. I think that this is very immoral and it is ruining my friendship with them. The pain is irresistible. I think about this 24/7 and I feel that I am very guilty and bad person. And I have a fear that the erections mean that I like the thoughts and they are pleasant to me, which I know deep in my soul that is not true. If these fantasies mean that I am XXXXXXX I will accept that fact, but I cannot accept to have fantasies about my close friends. I think highly of them and I don't want to lose them. I am very ashamed to speak with my friends, I feel like a hypocrite. I don't know what to do anymore. Please, help me.

Answered by Dr. Dr. Chintan Solanki (54 minutes later)

Brief Answer:
you need counseling/psychotherapy

Detailed Answer:
Hello Man,

Thanks for writing to us. I can understand your concern.

Erection after thinking about men does not mean that you are XXXXXXX Erection can happen with any extreme pleasurable moments/stimuli.

You have only such thoughts. You have not acted on these thoughts and you also do not want to act in future also. This suggests that you are not XXXXXXX

Your mind is just now occupied with these intrusive thoughts which are disturbing you. You are not doing any immoral thing.

You need psychotherapy cum counseling to solve your conflict aroused due to these unwanted thoughts. You may need short course of anti anxiety medicines like etizolam or clonazepam to get fast relief.

If you have not disclosed these thoughts to any of the friends, there is no chance of losing friendship. Even close true friends can provide help in such matter when they come to know that these are your unwanted, irrational and intrusive thoughts.

I recommend consulting psychiatrist once to get out of this thing.

Hope I have answered your query, I will be happy to help further.
Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.

Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar