Suggest Treatment For Postpartum Depression

Question: 7 months postpartum one 7 year old girl delivered almost full term i believe 1 week left via forceps preeclampsia was induced and fetal distress later she had a hemangioma on her toe, conjuctivitis of her eye, exotropia, and several strep cases other than that healthy and smart I had no ppd or imbalances after was 21, Now age 28 7 month old delivered via c section 2 weeks ahead preeclampsia again had protein in urine was induced and on clindamycin for group b strep. I pushed for 1 hour and this baby was 1 pound bigger 8 lb doctor concluded he wouldnt fit through the canal wasn't progressing. The epidural was a miss i felt as if he went to far to the left that sucked was a little queezy but the then the second hit was a go. C section went good i had flappy arms and was given something to relax me. No sleep and slight annoyances of them working on rooms and drills going off. On the third day i awoke a little sweaty and my feet hit the floor I felt as if i could lift a car couldnt not feel no pain and felt a disconnect from my mind and my body but was obviously moving. i have a hard time describing it maybe as if i felt something went wrong in my mind and id be like that the rest of my life. No sleep the next three days i would pace around at night while my family was asleep. About the third day I really had to work on a balance i slept maybe an hr and something startled me before and after falling asleep like a jerk. i believe i was scared to sleep maybe of death also. Definitely a battle of balancing my mind first surgery and everything that happened. 2 more times after that at night i would wake up begging on my knees felt like my mind was spinning out of control. A month later went to the dr. office sob and chest pain looked like a spasm to me on my left side under left boob. D dimer test was about 5,000 i believe normal ranges are 500. I was sent to the E.R in a wheelchair and o2 tank for a ct scan. They sent me home then dr office said i was supposed to have never left. Went to the e.r they wanted to give me a shot of some sort pain management or something i refused. Dr. came in and said Im sure you want to go back to your dr an hr away in florida. yes yes shes a great dr i said. However that dr said she had dropped my case and said i was in florida she is now in alabama case closed. I was kinda stung by that a bit. i mean that lady who was inside my body organs and all just dropped my case. What a bitch I had a lot of what ifs while laying there in pain and trouble breathing. Was sent down the hall to an obgyn was treated with a coumadin and awful blood thinner shots that made you want to cringe like ten bee stings coming at you. The right side of my incision also had to be packed that was another thing that slighty freaked me out. My concept of that was a little off I mean theres nothing like packing gauze into your insides. My mom wanted me transferred she had a freak out and they said i had a slight panic attack but its kinda hard to even panic when you cant breathe i stopped that quick. Tylenol codeine definitely helped me while in the hospital. The first ct scan they were ruling out a clot and nervitis they stated several times i had a small clot relating it to most people who fly have clots and never know it. I was sent home after a day and came back for another ct scan and they said i had lung immflamation and no clot. My mom and I wonder if they were cya or covering their asses. I'll never know. The problem went away with the z pack antibiotic. Great no pain maybe i never had a clot. I do tend to over analyze things and the doctor saying not so fast and patting his head had me on the lookout for anything else. Sleeping patterns got on track and then my husband left back for offshore sleep went downhill again. I started having trouble with routine school and all I remember walking and its like a drizzle but no rain my vision was slightly fuzzy. i was eating a lot of my favorite foods that seemed hard to eat. Remember staring at the ants on the ground as if my iQ dropped 100 points. Went to the dr all my coping habits failed me at that point he put me on celexa. Not being a fan of medicine I dont think I allowed the med to work i took them for 5 or 7 days. The last day I felt as if everything dragged by like a bad drug didnt work for me. Joined crossfit and battled my mind and death and everything that happened every thing seems on track besides the fact of not knowing for sure wether i for sure had a clot. i turned into a hypochondriac with every thing that goes wrong with my body. the latest i developed a stiff neck e.r trip chiro turned out to be strep throat. A week ago went back to the dr for a sore throat quickly this time and antacids helped it but for some reason seemes similar to an antideppressant for me slight brain zaps. Not sure if the antacids are in the same category but I had a similar sensation as the celexa but without nast side effects.I have learned alot on my journey of health issues and my first surgery. i just wish I had a for sure answer on the clot. Looking back i believe the clindamycin destroyed my gut and i believe there is a connection with the gut and the brain. I also have a kinesthetic intelligence so I only know what my body feels and its slighty hard to decipher the whole clot problem. My biggest question was did the clot travel to my brain? Later discovered moms dads sister died of aneurism and moms mom of lung cancer but had aneurism also. Dads grandparents heart attack and his mom had copd. My dad gout and mom heart arrythmias had to be shocked. i have a history of migraines was given aspirin when little and dr later concluded to never give me aspirin again. Was sent through an mri when little and only seen a spot on my brain?

Also, need to add during my pregnancy I developed a cough and then a hernia (umbilical) and a case of pinworms that I cleared with hygeine. I will work on obtaining the ct scans.