Question: HELLO
PLEASE CAN I ASK YOU ABOUT MY MOTHER

She is aged 90 and lives on her own. She has been widowed for 3 years after single handedly looking after my father who had brain cancer. The experience knocked the stuffing out of her. She has glaucoma which she is being treated for by a consultant with eyedrops. She has arthritis in her hands. She has lost a lot of wieght (she is tiny about 6 stone) and is very frail. I am not sure what she eats but a lot of it is not very healthy. Cake, white bread, biscuits, smoked bacon, fried eggs ready meals although she drinks orange juice. For the last 9 months she has been very forgetful, vague, repetitive and I have tried to get her to see her Gp about this but she refuses. However, she will go for ECG, blood test and urine test. Her GP has told her that she has high cholesterol, high blood pressure (as far as I can gather - she is very vague and forgetful). I have been contact with her GP (without mum knowing) and she has told me that mum has a slight kidney problem but cannot deal with mum's memory issues without mum's permission. Meanwhile, I am watching mum deteriorate before my eyes. She rarely goes out unless I take her. (I am her daughter). She seems tired and lacks energy but she is 90 after all. Sometimes she says she feels sick or has a headache. She sleeps on and off all day. Recently, I took her to the surgery for a second blood test at the request of her GP and mum has been informed by letter that she has chronic kidney disease but mild but still mum refuses to go to her gp to discuss this. I have been to see the GP myself about mum and my worries, particularly as I am going on holiday in November for 3 weeks and I am worried about who will look out for her as she lives on her own and has no friends. The GP told me that there was nothing they could do unless they had mum's permission but he did say that something about it won't be a problem by November. I got impression that the GP would pass this onto mum's Gp and something would be done but nothing has happened. Mum just about copes on her own but I do her shopping. What can I expect to happen over the next few months? What stage of CKN do you think mum is at? Is this connected to her memory problems? I am terrified that I will find her collapsed on the floor with a stroke/heart attack and I am angry with mum for not getting help. If I talk about her going to the GP she gets very angry with me.
this is not a question, I just wanted to add some information about mum, which may help.
When I ask mum about why she doesn't go to the GP about her memory problems and to discuss her CKN, she says that getting involved with the medical profession is not a good idea because 'they' never leave her alone. I have asked her if she is frightened about going to her GP but she says that she doesn't like her GP and will listen to her or remember what she says to mum, even if she did go. She says that she just wants to be left alone and that she is okay. When I have talked to mum about memory problems, vagueness and safety in her home she says that she is okay and will know when the time is right to seek help. She has a terrible fear of being taken into care. She has refused all help and got very angry with me when she suspected that I had spoken to her GP 'behind her back'. I have contacted Adult Social Care in our area for advice and they are happy to do an assessment without diagnosis but I know mum would get angry with me and would not let anyone in her house. I am not sure what her blood pressure readings are or what stage she is at with the CKN but the report from the Dr said mild and that there was chance of dying from cardiovascular disease or stroke. I have a brother who lives miles away and I have asked him to keep an eye on mum whilst I am out of the uk in November but he has refused because he believes that these things are for mum to decide not us. I have told him about the CKN info though so I am hoping that this will shake him up a bit.