Brief Answer:
This is common with kids with early loses

Detailed Answer:
Hi, thanks for writing through HCM.

I have read your query and understood your concerns.

Sometimes, a child may have inner conflict with losing loved one. She may be feeling that her mother is not there when she needs her most. She may be hostile and aggressive towards both of you because she doesn't know what to do?

If she is in counselling or therapy then the therapist must tell you about her feelings and thoughts like what does she feel in her mind? what is bothering her? ask the counsellor to give opinion about her behavior, if s/he hasn't given yet.

There is psychiatric illness known as conversion disorder, in which a person has some anxiety in mind which s/he can not identify but it continues to bother the person. When it becomes excessive the psychic anxiety is converted to somatic symptoms and attentive behavior, s/he may develop symptoms unconsciously that gets attention and her anxiety is gone for a while and it comes again when there is situation which increases the anxiety.

Your granddaughter is not doing it intentionally or may be to get attention but I feel if she is not communicating with you or therapist then in my opinion I would ask you to visit a child psychiatrist, go for her complete evaluation and final diagnosis because without the diagnosis the treatment will be misguided. The child psychiatrist will tell you what to do for this child? If needed s/he will sent her to therapist with proper guidelines about what to explore in her case?

Taking sessions with counsellor without diagnosis won't be helpful. She needs help from a child psychiatrist.

Sometimes a child with no parents can show symptoms suggestive of oppositional defiant disorder. She needs to evaluated on this also.

Hope I have answered your query. If you have further query then i will be happy t help.
Wish you good health.

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