A little about myself... I have been depressed my entire life, severely depressed. I was with my husband for 23 years, and married for 16 years. He passed away 3 years ago. I also have a daughter who is 18 years old and has severe problems from this. During our marriage he was very controlling and I went through mental and physical abuse. I am more depressed now than I have ever been in my entire life. Since he has died I have lost three homes my business everything down to the clothes on my back. I'm staying with friends. I'm so down that I don't get up to wash clothes clean the house or even want to clean myself . I'm also flat broke and just lost a job due to a layoff . For a while I was on Xanax which just made me sleep so I quit taking it. recently A friend had given me some Xanax this time when I take Xanax it makes me feel different. It takes away some depression, it gives me energy and motivation. When I take it I get up I clean the house I go out I look for jobs and it just makes me feel better in general. Is this something that I should be taking? Is this how it is supposed to work? I also have tried to take antidepressants in the past, but they have never really works for me do you have a suggestion on what kind I should take?