Hello and I hope I can clarify some information for you. I am so sorry for the situation with your ex-girlfriend. I do not know how old you are, but I want to make sure you have correct information about her condition. It is unlikely your ex has actual cervical cancer if she is young. It is rare to see cervical cancer in women under the age of 40, and it is also rare to see cancer in women unless they missed Pap tests for many years. There is a stage 2 cervical cancer, but if your ex has this she would need a hysterectomy and/or radiation treatment and possible chemo. If she is not receiving that kind of treatment it is more likely she has CIN 2, which is a kind of precancerous condition of the cervix that is treatable with an office procedure and curable. Many patients get these terms confused, and I hope you are misinformed and that her condition is not as dire as it seems. However, the truth about HPV is that 80 percent of sexually active adults in the U.S. are infected with HPV. It is very contagious, and condoms do not completely prevent transmission. I have seen virgins with HPV as well as women who only have sex with women who get it so it can even be transmitted by skin-to-skin contact. The only way to prevent HPV is by limiting the number of sexual partners you have or getting the vaccine. There is a vaccine for both women and men available, however once you have HPV the vaccine does not work. But I want to reassure you that more people than not are HPV carriers, and there is not much you can do to avoid catching it if you are sexually active. Cervical cancer is preventable with regular GYN visits and Pap smears, and I hope your ex was not one of the few who actually got cancer. HPV is no one s fault, and the diseases it causes are treatable if screened properly. Only you can decide how to deal with your own sexual choices, but I want to assure you that 8 of every 10 men and women know are also HPV carriers. So if you have sex with a woman and she is not a virgin, she has a greater chance that she already is an HPV carrier from her previous partners. I hope this information was helpful and you come to terms with the guilt you feel. Best wishes, Dr. Brown