Constant Fear Of Being Alone And Feeling Of Worthlessness.

I have a very real fear of being alone, and this has been for a very long time. I've been abandoned by my mother since birth since she put me in a convent to be raised, and then placed in several foster homes, this feeling of worthlessness hasn't left me even though the homes were good to me, I felt like an outsider, and now even at my age, I feel like I'm being put down in a hole and left to whatever happens, and subjected to abuse from two abusive husbands all because I wasn't worth anything from the beginning. also have nighmare where I see a nun who raised me and my deceased father in the shadows; I met my father at 26, he really loved me, but he died two years ago.