HI there,
I am 34 year old female. I went through a lot of upset in my early teens and by 16 was diagnosed with GAD and panic disorder including phobias (which come and go - planes, tunnels bridges etc).
At 19 I began drinking excessively and using illegal drugs - all stimulants, cocaine and speed etc. The whole time I was taking 40mg daily arropax for the anxiety disorder from 20 years to 30. At 30 years i realised I was an addict and sought help. I am now 33 and have been clean and sober for 3 years. In this 3 year period I have suffered quite a lot. up and down. I was prescribed epilim on top of my arropax (200mg daily) as i was having severe panic attacks, often collapsing and 4 times had fits. They calmed down, but as the years have gone on this dose has now increased to 800mg Epilim + 60mg Arropax. I am yet to be given a diagnosis as my biggest fear is that I have bipolar. Perhaps this is why we have not discussed it. What do you think is wrong with me? Could I have bipolar? or just be an extreme worry wart who frets and then gets run down and has a cry every few weeks? Uncertainty is sending me mad. Whilst I am more racing thoughts and stressful minded "pressured" perhaps, i don't suffer much depression, only after weeks where my work load is full and my lifestyle is jam packed. I.e less sleep, too many social and work obligations. I just get chaotic and unman gable, but certainly don't do crazy stuff like sleep with a million people or spend millions of dollars on my credit card. I have also been told a racing head full of thoughts and crazy mind is in fact a symptom of addiction in itself. "the diseased mind"! Oh god i don't know. I just feel like suddenly Im on a lot of meds for a supposed anxious girl. Feeling very confused and not sure I'll cope if I'm told i have bipolar