Hi! Am A Very Strong Willed Person, Very Optimistic, A

Hi! Am a very strong willed person, very optimistic, a fighter to the core who never gives up. For the past month, I am miserable, too much in pain. I cry in the washroom, while driving etc. where no one can watch me. The pain I feel is like someone very dear to me has died. I feel I am dead. This person is not me any more. I want to run away to a far secluded place where no one knows me. I wish for a long sleep and never wakeup. I wish all my memories get washed away. Have I gone mad?