Hi I feel really down and like no one in my family thinks good of me I've had suicide thoughts at times when my mum moans at how useless I am my dad comes round after he's drunk and says how useless I am of a son and at times I just kick tags get so angry and I feel like I really want to hit my mum but I hold back because I would never do it. I'm extremely paranoid about my appearance, my veins are more prominent than most and I very very rarely wear short sleeves unless I have to as I feel everyone thinks I look weird. Little things like taps/lights,plugs I switch off and think I haven't I'll go check again see the light is off but 2 mins later for some reason in my head I've left it on I don't know what to think is wrong with me but I needed to tell someone , myself esteem is just so low and I have no motivation