Hello Welcome to HCM Cyclothymia is a psychiatric mood disorder in which individuals have mixed picture of depression and mania for long durations of times like at least 2 years. They have never been diagnosed with depressive disorder or mania. The course is chronic. You have cyclothymia with suicidal tendencies. It can be treated with proper medicines. Mainly anti-depressants like Fluoxetine along with mood stabilisers as Sodium Valproate, Lithium carbonate etc are the drugs used to control the mood symptoms in cyclothymia. Low dose anti-psychotics like Amisulpiride can also be used to improve negative symptoms. Consult a Psychiatrist for that. You have also suicidal tendencies. I would advise you to talk to a close family member about your thoughts. Don t remain alone in room till you get medicines. You can notify health authorities about your suicidal thoughts. You are not able to control your thoughts. Consult a Psychiatrist immediately if possible. Thanks, hope this helps you.