My age is 27. I have been married for 1.5 years but I just can’t forget my girlfriend. I fell in love with a girl and one day it was all over because, unfortunately, she cheated me. We were in relationship for nearly 8 years. She did love me and wanted to keep the relationship. The first time I discovered, I ignored it because I was badly in love with her. But she cheated again, and I couldn’t ignore this time and called off our relationship. She told me that she is an immature girl (at the age of 25) and is sorry and feeling guilty for it and want to continue the relation. However, I couldn’t trust her any longer and quit the relationship.
     After few months of our breakup, I married with a girl in our family (arrange marriage). She is a nice, average looking girl. I do try to love her and fulfill her each desire. We have a very good life for outside world, may be an ideal life for many, house, car, financially stable. But I don’t have any sexual feelings for her. Whenever I try to foreplay with her, I hardly feel sexually aroused. Because I am not sexually aroused, I don’t get hard erections, not even enough for penetration. We only do sex twice or thrice a month and I have to take a capsule given by my friend before sex to keep my erection hard enough to penetrate. I do suspect the capsule has Viagra (or any other prescription drug), that’s why I stopped taking it few months ago and have no sex with my wife since last 2-3 months.
     First I thought I have ED, but I do get very hard morning erections or if I watch a romantic scene on the TV. I also feel sexually aroused whenever I think about my ex-girlfriend. However, no same feelings for my wife, even I want to have same feelings. I never thought I would be a sad, depressed guy at the age of 27 and it’s eating me up. Sometime I simply close my eyes and pray that my life would end, because I don’t want to live a life where I couldn’t love my wife and also couldn’t forget my ex. She is on my senses and it’s killing me. I am living a traumatic life and have to fake happiness on my face for my family.
I need help, please.