How do I know if I have depression? I ve had recurring thoughts of death and suicide since I was young (these occurred more frequently during periods of stress, but I was always sort of aware of death. Even when in a happy mood, if I m taking the train into the city with friends, for example, I feel a slight pull in my head saying that I could jump on the tracks and be gone.). Lately these have intensified a great deal. I didn t leave my apartment for six days once, and have been slowly sabotaging my own life (I m a student at an elite college, scored at a high percentile in the MCAT, and have been by all accounts a fairly hard worker heretofore. Recently, I procrastinated too much on my thesis, to the point where it may no longer be accepted, and stopped attending classes and submitting assignments). Furthermore, what can I do to get through the next couple of weeks, after which I can afford (the constraint is time, rather than financial) to get an appointment and treatment.