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Dr. Andrew Rynne
MD
Dr. Andrew Rynne

Family Physician

Exp 50 years

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How To Make Person Responsible?

Hi...my boyfriend is a sick. I think he needs some help. he lies about so many things so that people don't get hurt after listening the truth. but the fact is he is not a bad person but the things that he does are not in his control. also he is a drug addict from past 3 years and I came to know about it yesterday only. he thinks about everthing a lot but does not work on it. He hust wants a life which has only enjoyment but does not want to earn for his living. He is obsessed about cricket and spends his entire day is a small room watching cricket.
Mon, 11 Aug 2014
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General & Family Physician,  's  Response
Hello, thank you for posting your query to HCM.

Your boyfriend seems to be a highly irresponsible person. And making him responsible was his parents' job. Just because he's a 'good person' doesn't at all justify this behavior of his where he lies at the drop of a hat, doesn't work and to top it, is a drug addict. May be he has had some experiences in the past which have made him like this..or has he always been like this? You need to talk it out with him. Take him to a psychiatrist if needed. If he refuses for help (addicts mostly do), then I'd suggest you're better off without him. If he knows he's wrong and still unwilling to change then you deserve better.

It only looks good in movies that a person is struggling to get his/her partner out of such a lifestyle and having a happy ending. In reality two people in a relationship feed off each other's energies, if you're unable to bring about a positive change in him, there's a possibility you yourself might start getting negatively affected. Tell him if he really wants you in his life, he has to alter his ways. Let him choose whats more important for him. Else I can see a whole lifetime of struggle for you.

Hope this was helpful.
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How To Make Person Responsible?

Hello, thank you for posting your query to HCM. Your boyfriend seems to be a highly irresponsible person. And making him responsible was his parents job. Just because he s a good person doesn t at all justify this behavior of his where he lies at the drop of a hat, doesn t work and to top it, is a drug addict. May be he has had some experiences in the past which have made him like this..or has he always been like this? You need to talk it out with him. Take him to a psychiatrist if needed. If he refuses for help (addicts mostly do), then I d suggest you re better off without him. If he knows he s wrong and still unwilling to change then you deserve better. It only looks good in movies that a person is struggling to get his/her partner out of such a lifestyle and having a happy ending. In reality two people in a relationship feed off each other s energies, if you re unable to bring about a positive change in him, there s a possibility you yourself might start getting negatively affected. Tell him if he really wants you in his life, he has to alter his ways. Let him choose whats more important for him. Else I can see a whole lifetime of struggle for you. Hope this was helpful.