I am 30 years old with a severe seizure disorder caused by a abnormality in the left front temporal lobe of my brain. Before I was given help for my condition I had a motorcycle accident due to a grand-mal seizure while coming home from college one day and broke two vertebrete in my neck and another two in my upper back between my shoulder blades, this put extensive pressure on three vertebrete in my lower back which now has collapsed. I am now crippled due to this accident and have one leg that cannot be used(I use a cane now)and have been given the diagnosis of CRPS(complex regional pain syndrome[the most painful syndrome known in the medical world])the doctor which diagnosed me with this condition and offered me pain medication at the time which I turned down(I wanted to tough it out and did not want to take any more medication because I am taking so much already for my seizure condition), the doctor stated(at the time)that if I ever wanted some all I would have to do was call him. Now this doctor(the same one who diagnosed me)says I can only get pain medication if I come in for surgery for a small hernia I have in my back, which at the time(when I was diagnosed)he even instructed that surgery for this hernia might or might not help me and could very possibly make things worse/make it bigger(he even said he could not give an opinion on which was better). Anyhow I went nine months fighting this condition and it drove me to become very grumpy/miserable/agressive/etc.,etc., to the point my misery was rubbing off on my family, my high-school sweetheart of thirteen years became the closest to leaving me she ever has(which would take away our daughter, our house, our animals, everything we have worked so hard over the years to obtain). Finally, after fighting the pain for 9 months, not having sex for nine months, I realized that the problem was me and did some research of other/similiar people with my condition and found that for most people hydrocodone/vicodin was/is the answer(as far as treating the pain). The next day I went to the doctor, she took one look at my purple/red leg and prescribed me the vicodin but said to get any more I would have to see a pain doctor/anastegiologist before I could receive any more. The first vicodin I took made me feel like gold and made me realize even more why I had been so miserable, since taking vicodin I started eating more(I weighed 130pds before receiving this help[I weighed 160-170 before my condition started and lost 20pds just in the last two months before receiving help]), being happier for my family, have been more able to help around the house, have cut out sixteen Ibprophen a day(which had started to lose their effect anyhow)for three vicodin, participate in activities with our child, the list goes on and on. The pain doctor I am supposed to see is taking their time and I am getting nervous if they will even listen to my request for more pain medication(as I do feel I need and have found the right one for me)I have had all of my records(now sent from three different doctors[my neurologist, my neuro-surgeon that diagnosed me and the physician who prescribed the vicodin for me])have run circles to simply get a refill(due to the holidays). I simply want a reliable source to obtain this medication without having to worry so much as to whether I will receive it or not in the future for the simple reason of how much it helps, I do not want to be teased(so to speak)by feeling so great just to be thrown to the side/recommended 500 other options(most of which I am already participating with already[orthotic braces, chiropractic care, physical therapy, etc., etc.,])/be evaluated again, be threatened by the DEA that they will come crashing down my door for some reason or another, I have been jumbled around by five doctors/pharmisuitical companies and am getting tired of it, why try continue if the end result is simply to return to the pain anyways?
Is there an easier way I can obtain what I know helps and need here on this site/the internet in general so I do not have to worry so much about this or am I stuck with the battle the worry that I will never have someone/someplace to turn to and go back to the fight of battling with my body. I am sick of looking at the four hundred pound people I see getting help or the dopers that have made this so hard to begin with. I am a person with chronic pain, day in and day out, a real medical reason to have this medicine and feel that if anything, I do not deserve to live with this pain if there is something, someone, somewhere that can do something about it. Please, if you can prescribe this medication tell me, if not tell me where to go that has a legitimate site where I can, I'm getting to the point of wanting to order it from the wrong places or simply turn to street drugs if they will help with this pain.
Please, I ask you, beg you, am at your feet for any solution to eliminate my worries and provide a steady presciption so I can save myself, my family and everything I have worked so hard for throughout the years, I moved out from a foster home on my own at age 17, worked carving, lifting, hauling, landscaping rock for over 10 years, made my entire establishment on my own by myself doing whatever I have had to do to survive, all I want now is to make sure that I do not lose it due to an accident caused by a disorder that is still, even now, out of my control.