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Dr. Andrew Rynne
MD
Dr. Andrew Rynne

Family Physician

Exp 50 years

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Is It An Emotional Disorder To Shut Off Everyone, Stay Away From Communicating ?

my sister, who is 58 years of age has all of her adult life, lied to and about us - her family - and when we confront her about it, she shuts down, refuses to talk to us, and acts as if we don't exist. She can go for years with no communication. She will come back into the family when there is a big event - say a wedding or funeral, then before long, history with her lying and freezing us out begins again. Is this an emotional disorder with her ? What can we do ?
Sat, 1 Mar 2014
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General & Family Physician,  's  Response
What an interesting and challenging situation!
Yes, it does sound like your sister might have an emotional disorder.
Doing something about it is the hard part.
Here are my suggestions:
1. Abandon confrontation... it has not been effective.
2. Ask your sister if there is anything you can help her with.
3. Remember that trying to change another person is very often a losing proposition, especially if she is not asking for help...so don't "try too hard"
4. Do your best not to take her behaviors personally.
5. Avoid reacting with anger.
6. Focus on your own responses to her behavior, remain empathetic, but don't expect a cure to be forthcoming.
7. If your sister would like help, the best suggestion would be that she seeks the assistance of a competent mental health professional (therapist).

Hope this helps. I can understand your frustration. There is not an easy answer, that's for sure!

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Is It An Emotional Disorder To Shut Off Everyone, Stay Away From Communicating ?

What an interesting and challenging situation! Yes, it does sound like your sister might have an emotional disorder. Doing something about it is the hard part. Here are my suggestions: 1. Abandon confrontation... it has not been effective. 2. Ask your sister if there is anything you can help her with. 3. Remember that trying to change another person is very often a losing proposition, especially if she is not asking for help...so don t try too hard 4. Do your best not to take her behaviors personally. 5. Avoid reacting with anger. 6. Focus on your own responses to her behavior, remain empathetic, but don t expect a cure to be forthcoming. 7. If your sister would like help, the best suggestion would be that she seeks the assistance of a competent mental health professional (therapist). Hope this helps. I can understand your frustration. There is not an easy answer, that s for sure!