No Emotion, No Smiles, Selfish,dont Like Bonding.Help?

Hi, I have some questions in regards to how I ve been feeling. i rarely smile, when i do its to hide this other slithering inside me jordan has become the mask behind which i hide my true self I ve developed this almost jaded god complex, where i view the entirety of the human race as inconsequential. As if a mass apocalypse would suit me better than the world we live in. I feel superior to most everyone i meet. When i meet someone i can look at as being better than me, I instantly loathe them for it. I almost seem to be completely devoid of emotion, save for anger and resentment. I guess i feel emotion, i just dont feel im processing it properly, for example I ve gotten fairly good at replicating emotions such as love and happiness and remorse, by mimicing what I ve seen in others/media, I ve gotten so good at this I m having a hard time differentiating between the real and the feigned emotions. I seem to be completely incapable of letting go I ll hold a grudge indefinately. I crave the attention and praise of others. I frequently have shockingly vivid thoughts of the macabre (torture, violent sex acts, relishing in the pain of others), I have a family whom im not close to, and rarely hear from and never contact of my own accord, the concept of family is something alien to me though. I d be perfectly fine if i never heard from them again. I feel no urge to do anything for anybody unless it directly benefits me in some way, and in the past month or two i seem to have lost all interest in having sex, which is strange as i used to be a morbidly sexual person. and many of the thoughts i have seem as if they arent my own, i find myself fantasizing about things i know the world at large would see as wrong but it never seems to bother me, the only thing that bothers me is the fact that nothing bothers me. and this is just the bare bones of what id like to delve into, any help is greatly appreciated