Dear Welcome to HCM We understand your concerns I went through your details. I suggest you not to worry much. This is bereavement grief. You are unable to accept the bereavement of your husband. Most think. But I don t believe it. You are making it a reason to become anxious and engage in bad habits. Do you have children? Stay with them. Every one in the world go through the same problem and very few are anxious or affected like you. You need to change yourself and accept the hard fact. If you require more of my help in this aspect, Please post a direct question to me in this website. Make sure that you include every minute details possible. I shall prescribe the needed psychotherapy techniques which should help you cure your condition further. Hope this answers your query. Available for further clarifications. Good luck.