I am suffering from severe depression. My headache is increasing day by day. I feel like when will my end of life would come. I dont want suicide because i could not hurt my parents. I need to live my life happily but my depression does not leave me to live this life. I hope i realized my depression only now. I am sure am suffering for more than years. The depression for me is my lover (who is about be my husband in few months) had infatuation on a girl. But that was all a thing of 6 months in his 11 th standard of school. That girl was only in 8th standard. The boys (his friends) use to kid him with that girl and he started seeing the girl but they both had never talked and the girl had no interest. One day the girl called him as brother for she told (Brother someone is calling you). Then because she called him as brother he left seeing her. He only saw her. But when i asked him have you loved someone he told me "No love but that was simply an infatuation" but i used to ask him lots of questions about that. I had even fought with him for that. Now the thing is i cant accept that he had infatuation. I hate that. I am in love with him for more than 6 years. But now every time i am thinking about this only. if for 5 minutes i am happy the next 5 minutes i become depressed. if see the number 8 or the number 11 i am getting depressed because those numbers are the standards he saw that girl (11th std). if i hear somewhere that girls name or if i see any store board with that girls name am becoming depressed. each and everything remembers me about this. but i know how he loves me. he tells me that "truth is i loved only you so much and my first love is u". but am depressed. i dont want this thought in my mind. i need to die. please help me what should i do on this. please help me. And to add on at the start of our love i asked him who will look beautiful me or her. he told as 'internally i am looking beautiful but externally she is looking beautiful" and i became terribly upset. then he told me he told as that because he had not seen me well before and he told that for an comedy and he says am looking beautiful and asked me not to compare with someone. also he before told me that that girls character is very worst and boys had told about that to him. his friend has also told me that girls character is worse. i know surely he had not even spoke a word to her. only just seeing. but i cant tolerate that. my guy is having lots of love on me. he cant live without me. he is very nice and genuine man. but my worries and all when he was in 11th std he saw a girl and things such that. i cant ever accept that. please help me. i am thinking of this daily. i am hearing a voice about this repeatedly. what should i do. i dont like anything.