so u have lots of stress in your life and some of that u have created for your self. u ve said that the depression comes and goes and the important thing is your cutting problem, i can not exactly understand that but i feel cutting problem means your self harming behavior and that is present for your 5th grade. u have strained relationship with your family and u were sharing feelings with grandma previously.
so i feel that u do not have clear cut depression at present because unipolar depression is very simple and easy to treat.. i dont know whether u r taking any meds or not..u shud
consult a psychiatrist for diagnosis and evaluation of thoughts and feelings, n whether any personality problems are present or not.. your symptoms look like borderline personality, if i m right u have to undergo meds as well as
psychotherapy like
dialectical behavior therapy.
for regulation of your mood i can not suggest u any antidepressant but i advise u to take mood stabiliser medication..u shud take depakote 500 mg twice daily and can gradually increase it depending upon the response and body weight [20-30mg/kg body weight]..
if your mood is more of depressed the u can take
fluoxetine and
olanzapine combination or
lamotrigine or
quetiapine..
dosages are: fostera [10] once a day
quetiapine [seroquel 200 to 400 mg ] a day
lamotrigine [lamictal] 200 to 400 mg a day, start lamotrigine with low dose of 25 mg a day gradually increase the dose to reach the maximum. look for any rash development or other skin reaction after taking it. if develops stop lamictal immediately and consult ypur psychiatris...
i hope u ll find this advice helpful, best luck