Hello,
It can be very difficult to decide whether to have surgery or not. In general, medical decisions are based on determining benefits and harms, along with the likelihood of each.
Discussing the benefits of the surgery (perhaps longer life, less overall pain, less
constipation in the future, death, etc.) and the harms (short-term pain, possible life-long ventilator use, death, etc.) with the surgeon would be the best way to make the decision.
You should not be forced to make the decision quickly and can discuss the options with your husband and your family if you'd like.
For the surgeon to proceed, he or she would need to have explained the potential benefits and harms of doing the procedure and not doing the procedure (we call this "informed consent").
Hope I have answered your queries. Let me know if I can assist you further.
Take care
Regards,
Dr. Timothy Wong