HI, thanks for using healthcare magic
Depression is a very serious condition and it is unfortunate that you feel so overwhelmed by all your negative emotions.
Though it is difficult to appreciate right now because you feel so badly, there is always hope, there is always a chance that things will improve once you are alive.
The dark and difficult times , when you look back , may sometimes help to develop strength and show you how that you are able to overcome with help.
You need to get help from someone. You need to reach out to a family member, friend, doctor, counsellor or pastor.
Someone is going to need to help walk you through this.
Medication and
counselling would help though it can take a few weeks to work.
Depression is very difficult to overcome on its own, you need to try to get help and support.
Blessings
I wish you well