In 1956, when I was two, I crawled out of my crib and knocked over a vaporizor. The glass full of scalding hot water sent me into a horrid pain. At four years I took a bobby pin put it in my mouth and stuck it in a light socket. I could see my electical charged body all lit up as I was behind my body. I suffered from beatings from the age of four to nine. I would be left with welts that sometimes bled on my back, bottom, and thighs. Juvinile delinquent, class clown, in and out of progams, abused alcohol and drugs. Now at 56 and still drinking I need a perspective on my life for all I cannot understand.