Hi, Thanks for writing in. Virginity is a social term applied to a lady who has never had penetrative sex. What you are having is vaginismus, spasm of the muscles in the vagina which give you pain when you try to have penetrative sex with your partner. You both could sit together and talk out your problems. Please indulge in longer foreplay and use plenty of lubrication. If you are still not able to accept sex please consult a psychiatrist or family therapist to guide both of you. Hope this helps.