Dear Welcome to HCM We understand your concerns I went through your description. I suggest you not to worry too much. Masturbation is not sin and it is natural. Even animals do masturbate. Masturbation is not unhealthy if done in moderation. Once per day. Even occasional twice per day is not unhealthy. But the anxiety and apprehension about the masturbation habit can be dangerous in psychological way. In my opinion, you are having psychological pain. Divert your energy towards more productive things like education or career or family. you should feel better. You might need psychological counseling., I am more than happy to provide telephone psychological counseling through healthcaremagic. Contact me through customer care, www.healthcaremagic.com. Hope this answers your query. Available for further clarifications. Good luck.