Hi there,
I understand the predicament that you are in, and yes, an operation to put tubes in the ears is actually a fairly simple procedure. However, an operation is still an operation, and comes with its risks of anaesthesia and bleeding and such. If she has repeated infections, or if she is ill despite treatment for this infection, then the procedure is probably warranted to help drain any pus or make the drops work better. But if she has recovered fairly well, I would agree with the ENT and hesitate to put her through anaesthesia just to catch a flight.
Regarding flying with the fluid in the ears, you first have to understand what caused the fluid to begin with. The middle ear is usually an area that is filled with air, and the Eustachian tube connects the middle ear to the throat, equalising the pressure inside with the outside air. In children the Eustachian tube doesn't function so well and is prone to be blocked with secretions. This causes fluid buildup, sometimes even after the infection has improved.
Essentially, what we have is a closed space filled with a mix of air and fluids, much like a balloon. What happens during a flight is that the drop in surrounding air pressure is going to force the space to expand and the most flexible part, the
eardrum, will be pushed out, with the risk of causing a ruptured eardrum. Most people heal spontaneously in the weeks and months after the rupture, and I wouldn't say flying is completely forbidden, but it is likely that she will be in quite a bit of pain through the flight.
I understand that it might not be practical to wait until the fluid clears to go home, and if you do decide to fly, prep her with some
paracetamol beforehand to minimise the pain. Also, give her something to snack, drink or suck on during takeoff. The swallowing action increases the chances that her Eustachian tube will somehow pop open for a brief period, enough to equalise the pressure temporarily. Do the same during landing as well.
Hope this helps, and all the best to you and your daughter.
Regards,
Dr. Teh