Hello Thanks for your query.Based on the facts that you have posted it appears that you have problem of Erectile Dysfunction and Premature ejaculation. As you claim that you get hard erection and ejaculation while masturbating your problem while having intercourse with your wife is most likely mind related and to be due to performance anxiety .Following measure will help you to boost up your confidence and getting good erection.and delay ejaculation. 1) Practice regular exercise for 45 minutes followed by meditation for 1/2 an hour in the morning. 2) Take high protein diet rich in vegetables and fruits and Vitamin A,C,D,E. 3)Take anti oxidants like Almonds 5-6 everyday.. 4) Avoid alcohol and smoking.. You can try drugs like Sildenafil and Dapoxetine to get hard erection and delay ejaculation after getting prescription of the drugs from your family Physician. Dr.Patil.