hello Doctor, I am married 48 years to the same lady and love her very much. about 23 years ago she was upset with me working and not home much and not paying much attention to her at home except for sex that she gave me often, as my sexual appatite was almost usery. Then I noticed a change in her, she was more distant and still doing the children and the home, but was distant from me. I let this go and was still doing my work and providing the major portion of the family keep, she worked full time also. She was very distant and I thought it was just mid life change. So one evening she told me she wanted a divorce and I was devistated . I thought I was doing to much work out of the home to much etc. felt bad I was working in place of spending time with my family. so she got a lawyer and moved in with her father. then I started to look around after a friend told me she had a man friend. I actually had a friend tap and place recorders on 4 home phones in 4 other residences and found out she was upset as she was doing sex and telling him she loved him on the phone really suprised me. So I suggested counsel which she agreed to. at the counsel meeting, first time, the doctor met with both of us. She asked us both to say why we wanted to counsel on this marriage and after 30 minutes each in the same room all 3 of us, she said to me . I am making your iwfe the patient, you do not have to come here again until the last of 6 meetings I will have with your wife to help you both keep your marriage. She then said my wife will be her patient. That suprised me. That doctor saw something in my wife I did not.? So I waited for like 10 weeks as the 6 meetings took place and on the 7th meet I was asked to attend all 3 of us again. I was asked to sit and listen and the doctor asked my wife if she could turn the affection on to me like she was giving to her lover, who by the way was married. she asked the doctor to repeat and the doctor got more grafic. The doctor said do in bed with your husband that which you do in bed with your lover. Your husband can do exactly what your lover is doing to you. My wife sat there silent. Then the doctor looked at me and she said to me I think your wife is ready to be in your home with you as your wife after counsel these 6 past meetings, however she will not be a wife of sexual freeness. I hear her say that but it did not sink in she said it a different way the second time. You have a wife but no sex will be yours, she is not a erotic personality. That shocked me also. So now 18 years or so later, after the affair, and she will not do sex? No sex from age 42 to 66 ( 3 or 4 years having an affair I had no sex with her she was out of the sex mood, and 18 or 19 years after the counsel no sex. She just shut it off. ? do you ever hear of such a mind set. I surely though a human need of sorts would have to yield some sex if I waited long enough? The time of waiting is exactly as the female doctor stated, no erotic personality? I would like to know if you know what happened ? can you shed some suggestions on this behavior?