My Boyfriend, Matt, Is A Cook. He Works 5 Days

my boyfriend, Matt, is a cook. he works 5 days a week and works 12-14 hour days. he works with his best friend named Dan who is the chef at his restaurant. they have been friends for 5-6 years. Dan is very verbally abusive and toxic. he's nice but he makes you feel guilty for lots of things like: not drinking if he is, my bf texting me when I'm not with them, not wanting to go out for another beer, makes Matt drink too much, any PDA we do, likes to look at girls or strippers and likes to get my boyfriends approval when I'm around... list goes on... Dan is basically matts best friend. they work together every day. they go out for beers after work. they go to places far away like Montreal, Vegas, and Seattle... Dan is what mostly brings Matt and I to arguments. mostly on my part and if I argue usually Matt won't understand why I feel this way... I just don't understand... I'm just wondering is it wrong that I most always feel left out? is it wrong I feel like there is always ongoing tension and competition between Dan and I? is it wrong I feel like I'm secondary in the realstipnship? is it wrong for me to feel this way? I understand it's good and healthy to have space from your significant other but I feel like I have enough space from him and I get hurt when he makes plans with his friends when he knows we both have the same days off. I get hurt when he's away. I think I have Separation Anxiety from my childhood when my parents got divorced... and now I feel it really hurting my relationships and myself now... I don't know what to do.