... recently diagnosed me bipolar. Before I was on paxil. I felt like I had just taken a daytime nasal decongestant. That's why I fight through a cold because I don't like the way cold medicine makes me feel. I personally find that anything that normally would speed up a normal person makes me feel absolutely icky, almost like a zombie with a rapidly beating heart. I was prescribed lamictal and a small dose of xanax which i find helps a lot if i double the dose of .5, 2-3 times daily. So if I take 1 mg 3 times daily I could manage my anger and it also DID NOT take away my energy what so ever. I was on klonopin and wellbutrin before the xanax and it was hard to tell which was causing the anger. I currently am on the 200mg of lamictal in the morning, only as I have been out of my xanax because of doubling my dosage. The lamictal has helped with depression but i believe it is making me more agitated. I find I'm flying off the handle more than before. which makes me think I shoud just of cutting my lamictal dosage in half which may help with the side effects, as well, mainly the stomach issues. I tried seroquel for a while, no good. It was great for sleeping but I didn't like the morning after. Again would wake up with dilated pupils, etc. same with lithium. she also had me wellbutrin but I dont think I was allowed to take for a long enough period of time. At that time I was also on klonopin. I've found none of these have helped with my anger. I fly off the handle on my children and afterwards I feel so bad. it's uncontrollable! They look at me with this scared look. I've never ever spanked my kids so if I get angry they know I mean it. I don't want to be that kind of mothe, my mother was. They're not bad kids. Actually my kids are so sweet that when I do get angry they go out of they're way to cheer me up. That should not be their job at 7 and 13. I've been through so many trials and mixtures of medications and have been diagnosed with major depression then bipolar. Just in the last few months I've been through so many meds thar it's hard to tell which one will work for me. I've read on forums like this that benzo seems like a great option for me. After my second child i built up an addiction to pain pills but it's because I felt normal, happy, in control and able to get out of bed and get things done. I think Im in pain because I can't get myself going and depressed because of tge unrolled behavior. Any opinions? Can anyone relate to these issues and what has worked for you? I just want to feel like a normal person again!!! The older I get the worse it gets. My husband thinks it's all in my head because I used to be a pleasant person